Life Changing Stories

Here, we will put life changing stories to help motivate other people. People who are struggling with the same issue. We want you to know that you are not alone. 

1) Growth:

I often find myself asking what I did to survive this long. My parents decided to separate when I was six. Due to this, my mother moved my brother and me around Worcester. We lived in 5 houses sometimes with her other ex-husband and over a ten year period.

I recall my first anxiety attack was July 7th, 2006 which was our first night away from our dad. I did not feel good and had to pace around to calm myself down. This habit stuck with me and I still use it 12 years later. I had felt nauseous most nights for years. I hated nighttime. Fourth grade my school nurse told me she thought it was because I had separation anxiety from my father. I never learned what love was or how to love until I was much older. I think I am still figuring that one out.

My first suicidal thought was in the fifth grade. I would cry in the shower and say "either she has to go or I do" referring to my mother. She was abusive, bipolar, nasty and scary. Constant yelling at everything. I had struggled with self-image, mostly my big forehead and acne-prone skin. I told my best friend I wanted to die and she told teachers so I had to be evaluated for suicidal risk before I could return to class. In seventh grade was when I first decided to tear open my skin with a pen, tacks, blades, anything I could get my hands on. When my mother found out she was mostly angry not understanding why so she only said: "can I trust you shaving now, come on".

Eventually, I made my own secret Instagram account about self-harm and starving myself. I met tons of people I loved through this network. It was an outlet I used to get out all the rotten thoughts. In eighth grade, I stopped cutting and starving myself. I had scars all over my entire body. It was so appalling to think I have all these wounds under my clothes and nobody knew.

Here I am, five years later thriving. I am on two medications for my skin and two for depression/anxiety. I do not want to be on medicine forever but this medication changed my entire life. I am so much more outgoing and can be myself. Medicine is not the answer to everything or everyone, I still get depressed and anxious. One thing that always got me through was "this too shall pass". I am a firm believer in the idea that time heals all wounds. Of course, you will always have the scar but it will hurt less and less.

Another outlet I used was creating art. I still love to draw and express myself. I cannot stress how important music was to me and relating to the lyrics. I also reached out to more people and started working out. Being healthy changes your entire mentality. I developed goals for myself that I am on the path to completing. I was really close to one family member through this which was unbelievably helpful. I forced myself to try new things even if it did not seem that big. My whole mindset grew and now I am blooming. It took a lot of work but I am so grateful to be alive. I am blessed every day.

The most important things are realizing that you have value, expressing yourself in positive ways and continuing to flourish. Water yourself. Let yourself bloom.

- Anonymous